In this LIVE chapter on Las Vegas, Digital Dan and Robot Rich talk us through the etiquette of giving your own eulogy at an inpromptu Las Vegas funeral, and explain why George Clooney looks like the sort of man who would operate a fairground attraction. Meanwhile Charlie pops in to marry his father. All in gloriously variable audio quality.
Chapter 38 - Children
In this, the final chapter of Volume Two of our Big Book of Everything, we selflessly become superstar DJs to serve our country, Rich reprises his role as Santa in his school play, and we replace the toys in Kinder Surprises with a line of bleak poetry to teach children about the futility of life.
Chapter 37 - Work
In this chapter, we take an open top bus load of tourists through a labyrinth to slay a minotaur and help us bond as a team, Rich writes a self help book mostly fully of Sudokus, and we build up a Christmas army to help us storm Santa's castle, deck the elves, and save Christmas. Or destroy it. We can't remember which. Also features a game of On The Wonk with Jason from the Milk Bar Podcast and Dan's brother Tristan.
Chapter 36 - Sexy
In the sexiest of chapters, charlie leads an angry mob, rich changes fashion to make the crotch more accessible, and we discuss the eternal question whats better - flexi time or sexy time. We also play a game of work-in-progress quiz On The Wonk with Colin and Matt from Amazing Radio's The Saturday Show.
Chapter 35 - Crime
In this chapter we convince Martin Bashir to take up a new career as a cashier, introduce a complicated pay and display system whereby you share your science project in lieu of money, and launch a range of savory scondiments, perfect accompaniments to your favourite savoury scones. Also includes the semi-successful pilot of new wonk-based quiz, On The Wonk. So have a listen! Or, as a nice lady once shouted at Rich... what's the matter, don't you like fun?
Chapter 34 - Literature
In this chapter Rich shares an intermittently sexy cockney story, a Stephen Fry lookalike mouths audiobooks at us as we drift off to sleep, and guest host Tristan presents his new angle-based chat show, On The Wonk.
Chapter 33 - Time
In this chapter we give historical heroes a reassuring tickle, Rich dreams of impressing his family with a cup and ball trick, and we investigate ways of hiring the concept of maths into our ever expanding staff. And rumour has it there may be some news as to the fate of a certain time travelling professor...
Previously Rejected Material Volume Two
No new chapter this week I'm afraid! Instead, we have been digging through our bins, and have found a whole collection of clips that didn't make it into previous chapters.
Chapter 32 - BORING
In this chapter Flat 29 share their boring passions in an effort to convert one and other to their boring way of life. Rich looks at - but never touches - electrical leads, Charlie talks about the decline of CD sales in too much detail, and Dan's passion for software updates confuses and terrifies us all.
Chapter 31 - Sleep
In this chapter Charlie imagines a life where his dad is a cup of tea, Rich tries to get a drugged up owl back on the straight and narrow, and Dan overenthusiastically promotes Sleeping Lunches, or Slunches, in which office workers cuddle up with a colleague, selected at random every lunchtime, after a tough mornings work.
Chapter 30 - The Internet
In this chapter we send drawings of items we have bought on ebay to their previous owners, enjoy an orchestral arrangement of the dialup modem theme, and a teenage Rich googles David Bowie, while unbenownst to him, David Bowie googles him right back.
Chapter 29 - Live Music
In this chapter we write a host of songs about spreadsheets, make sure we are getting our high-five-a-day, and Paul McCartney ruins Rich's bag - for life. The chapter closes with a 20 minute live performance of our own, recorded at Dans brothers engagement party!
Chapter 28 - Fairytales
In this chapter we learn why ripping out the hearts of humans (or giants) is currently banned in Norway, why Peter Jackson executed an egg a day with an antique revolver during the filming of Lord of the Rings, and why Merlin's abseiling skills mean he will never be invited to Rich's wedding.
Chapter 27 - Birth
In this chapter we plan out our ideal births, situated on the disused site of the "Neverland" theme park, and accompanied by celebrity sibling Julian Roberts and a rabid monkey. We also form a band consisting of our nieces and nephews wearing masks of their older selves.
Flat 29's Twelve Days of Xmas
In Flat 29's Big Book of Everything's Christmas Special 2010, we count down 12 christmas items on our minds this holiday season, all whilst wearing our auto-tune ties, PVA Nutsuits, and strings of superman's-eyes-staring-into-your-very-soul-Poundland-LED Christmas lights. Happy holiday times everyone.
Chapter 26 - Spies
In this voyerISTIC chapter, we train up some aprentice spies by assigning them to spy on an ant, help James Bond sneak a Twix into a bad guy's hollowed out volcano lair, and examine the many and varied jobs carried out by Steve Jobs.
Previously Rejected Material Volume One
No new chapter this week I'm afraid! Instead, we have been digging through our bins, and have found a whole collection of clips that didn't make it into previous chapters.
Chapter 25 - Cooking
In this chapter we plan a diet regime based around food confiscated from children, stir things up with a game of popular quiz Guess The Utensil, and present a reading from The Gospel According to Tony the Tiger. In his own sacred words, its grrrrreat.
Chapter 24 - Agriculture
In this manure-ridden chapter, we find out which of us has The Tractor Factor, Dan gets rather too much enjoyment from a goat licking his hand, and after lovingly raising our cows to adulthood, we coldly shoot them at point blank range. Because we are farmers, and farming has peaks and troughs (for the pigs).
The Time Travelling Musical Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Musical
Flat 29 proudly present a feature length musical adventure starring everyone's favourite crime solving time travelling duo - Sherlock Holmes and Professor Winston.